Marriage and spinsterhood: 4/6/25

The Greatest Love Story in the Prophet’s Life

The Tale of Khadija’s Necklace and Aisha’s Jealousy… How Women Guided Hamza ibn Abdul-Muttalib and Umar ibn Al-Khattab to Faith

Friday, 5th Ramadan 1440 AH – May 10, 2019 – Issue No. 48367**

*By Dr. Muhammad Hussein Abul-Hasan*

Women were the first believers, the first martyrs, and the builders of Islamic civilization… And "the fragile vessels" (a metaphor for women) are one of the keys to Paradise.

How do extremists and "advocates of jihad al-nikah" (a distorted concept of marriage) contradict Islam’s teachings regarding women?

An overwhelming silence, where one could almost hear the pulse of blood in the veins. A stillness wrapped in majesty inside a secluded cave atop a mountain. A descendant of Abraham, accustomed to living in purity, contemplating with patience, observing with insight, and worshipping in piety—a devoted man kept awake by longing and sleeplessness. Then, destiny whispered into the ear of the future.

The heavenly messenger descended, carrying God’s light—a divine charter for humanity. The heavens proclaimed their chosen one. Muhammad ibn Abdullah became the Messenger of the Lord of the Worlds. Everything changed for eternity. The chemistry of time, of people, of life—faith surged forth in its blessed might, while disbelief staggered and falsehood crumbled.

The "charge of light" from the Highest Heavens was overwhelming. Though the Chosen One had been prepared meticulously—destined by the Almighty to bring salvation to the world, to carry God’s word through righteous prophecy, irrefutable proof, and bestowed mercy—Muhammad’s encounter with the Trustworthy Gabriel was not easy.

"Read," Gabriel said, embracing him tightly until he was utterly exhausted. (Note that the command was "Read," not "Pray" or "Fast." This was the beginning of a civilization founded on reading, knowledge, and learning.) The embrace was repeated three times, each time bringing him near death—so he could bear the weight of the message, the trials of struggle, and the divine power bestowed upon him. Then came the glad tidings: *"O Muhammad, you are the Messenger of God.

Overwhelmed, the Prophet trembled. The angel vanished. Muhammad staggered through the sand, reaching his home, collapsing into the arms of his wife, Khadija bint Khuwaylid. He told her what had happened. She went to her wise cousin, Waraqa ibn Nawfal, to verify the event, then returned to reassure her husband—affirming his radiant role in humanity’s future. *"You are the Messenger of God, like Moses and Jesus before you.

What Khadija did was worthy of a woman chosen by fate to be the companion of the Prophet. The renowned French Orientalist Emile Dermenghem, in his book *The Life of Muhammad*, elaborates on Khadija’s reaction when her husband returned from Cave Hira, frightened and shaken. She restored his calm, showering him with a lover’s tenderness, a wife’s devotion, and a mother’s care, embracing him and saying:

You uphold kinship, bear others' burdens, assist the needy, honor guests, and stand for truth. God will never forsake you."*

Khadija surpassed all men and women in faith. Her kindness remains a debt upon every Muslim until Judgment Day!

Biographical accounts agree that she first employed young Muhammad in her trade. Witnessing his honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness, she married him despite his poverty—choosing him over Quraysh’s wealthy elites who sought her hand. Her admiration for him, as Al-Isfahani notes in *Proofs of Prophethood*, was profound. She was the first to believe in his message, before all others—supporting him when people denied him, sheltering him when they expelled him, and financing his mission when he dedicated himself to prophethood.

Whenever grief weighed on him, she eased his heart. It was as if God created Muhammad and Khadija as a true love story—a model for all lovers, all spouses seeking righteousness and success. The Orientalist Margoliouth, in *Muhammad and the Rise of Islam*, even marks the Prophet’s life from the day he met Khadija, while dating his migration to Medina from the day Mecca lost her.

When relentless trials befell the Muslims, Khadija stood firm as a mountain—steadfast and resolute. God took her two young sons, Qasim and Abdullah, yet she endured with patience. She bid farewell to her daughter Ruqayya and son-in-law Uthman ibn Affan as they migrated to Abyssinia. She witnessed her husband’s unwavering commitment to truth, refusing to compromise even slightly. Alongside his uncle Abu Talib, she supported the Prophet with all her wealth, influence, and strength.

Paganism was confounded. The disbelievers unleashed brutal torment upon the faithful. Quraysh boycotted the Muslims, besieging them—yet Khadija stood firm, abandoning her home to endure three years of hardship in the valley with her beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), suffering hunger, thirst, and poverty despite her noble wealth—until the siege collapsed.

For her immense virtue, God Almighty granted her glad tidings of Paradise. Gabriel once told the Prophet: *"O Messenger of God, Khadija comes to you with a vessel of food. When she arrives, convey greetings from her Lord and from me, and give her the good news of a house in Paradise—a tranquil abode free from clamor and toil."*

Khadija was Muhammad’s first love, a love that permeated his heart. She embodied the highest forms of devotion and sacrifice. The noble Prophet said of her: *"The best women of Paradise are Khadija bint Khuwaylid, Fatima bint Muhammad, Maryam bint Imran, and Asiya bint Muzahim, the wife of Pharaoh."*

He married no other woman during her lifetime. The year of her death (along with Abu Talib’s) was named *"The Year of Sorrow."* He stood alone, grieving their separation—her memory an eternal flame in his heart. He often remembered her, favoring her above all his wives.

Lady Aisha once said: *"I was never more jealous of any of the Prophet’s wives than I was of Khadija—though I never saw her. But he mentioned her so often, even slaughtering a sheep and distributing its meat among her friends."* Once, she remarked: *"It’s as if Khadija was the only woman in the world!"* The Prophet, still enamored, replied: *"She was indeed… and she bore me children."* Despite his deep love for Aisha, his love for Khadija surpassed all. Though she passed away, she never left his soul.

After the Battle of Badr, when the polytheists sought to ransom their captives—including Al-As ibn Al-Rabi’, the husband of the Prophet’s daughter Zainab (though Islam had separated them)—Zainab sent a ransom with *Khadija’s necklace* included. When the Prophet saw it, his heart softened. He asked his companions: *"If you see fit to release her captive and return her wealth, do so."* They agreed.

See how Khadija’s necklace stirred his emotions (peace be upon him)—how he pleaded for Zainab’s sake, and how his companions compassionately obliged. And why not? It was the necklace of the woman whose virtues left the Prophet in awe. She gave him everything—herself, her effort, her wealth, her home—yet never boasted. She became a role model for all women, earning God’s pleasure.

Since the world was shaken by this *"Great News"* and Islam’s light illuminated the earth, Khadija remains a radiant spirit from the past—stirring emotions, inspiring awe at her wisdom and greatness. In her home, God’s light descended upon His Messenger’s heart, with Khadija as his shield against trials. A woman without equal, endowed with purity, faith, and readiness to embrace truth.

In the eighth year after Hijra, the Prophet (peace be upon him) entered Mecca. At night, he did not stay in any companion’s home—instead, he pitched his tent beside Khadija’s grave, as if the conquest had unlocked springs of memory. Once, they were Islam’s only followers amidst a sea of disbelief. Now, the pain of separation mingled with the joy of victory, and the Prophet’s heart whispered: *"You were right, Khadija, when you said: 'God will never forsake you.'"*

Many know famous love stories—Antara and Abla, Qays and Layla, Romeo and Juliet—but few recognize history’s greatest love story: Muhammad and Khadija. The Prophet’s actions show that Islam is not just laws, morals, and beliefs—but also a religion of love, peace, and mercy, elevating human emotions toward all creation, especially one’s beloved spouse.

Yet extremists today forget this. Look at ISIS’s atrocities, degrading humanity—especially women—through practices like "jihad al-nikah." Some hardliners see women as inferior, forgetting that the first to bow to God after the Prophet was a woman (Khadija), the first martyr was a woman (Sumayya), and women were key to the conversion of Hamza ibn Abdul-Muttalib and Umar ibn Al-Khattab.

They ignore the Prophet’s repeated commands to treat women well—calling them *"fragile vessels"* and honoring them: *"Whoever cares for three daughters, showing them kindness, mercy, and education, will enter Paradise."* When companions asked about two daughters, he said the same. Even for one daughter, the promise held.

His final words before death were: *"Fear God regarding prayer, and treat women well."* He linked the two—because prayer reflects one’s bond with God, and kindness to women reflects strength and nobility.

When the Prophet’s soul departed, it rose from the chest of a woman—Aisha. The first to join him after death was a woman—his daughter Fatima, six months later.

Muhammad ignited the blessed flame, and God decreed its light would never fade. Among those who fanned that flame, none shone brighter than Khadija—his beloved wife. Their relationship exemplifies woman’s lofty status in Islam and love’s power to work miracles, guiding from darkness to light, from despair to hope.

Why don’t we follow our noble Prophet’s example? Did God not say: You have in the Messenger of God an excellent example."*

This translation preserves the original's poetic and historical nuances while making it accessible to English readers. Let me know if you'd like any refinements!